Lost of an important thing in life - memories~~

its been a long time since i actually posted something in my blog, and it never cross my mind not even a single time that the next time i post will be this...

I still remember when i was a baby, you always bathe me n carry me as though im a box that contain a whole sum of treasure. Never once you actually failed to protect me.. One memory flow through my mind, my mom told me that there was once where i was brought to a clinic, i almost fall down from the bed n luckily there was you, hooking my head with your leg, it was a big shock for u n mom as u were so afraid that my head knock the floor. I still remember that, u love to hug me in ur arms rubbing my back so that ill fall asleep soundly like a pig, how i wish u will hug me like u always used to.

i was always the one that get fever. When i catch a fever, you will be there rubbing my back with a boiling egg hoping for my fever to go down. As i grow older, i always ask you to rub my back with a boiling egg but we never get the chance to do it again.. Another memory flow through my mind where i was over dosage with antibiotic n fever pills, vomiting the whole night. U took me to the clinic during mid night and even scolded the clinic for giving the wrong dosage, u were so worry bout me that time till u were hugging me back home.

U always have confidence with my studies, no matter how i always say i might not do well this time, u'll always tell me, " is ok, 阿爸 对你有信心” that few words are more than enough to bring confidence towards myself. Can i hear that one more time? u never forget when is my exam, and every time i reach back home, u'll confirm ask me, how did u do today? can i hear that again?

U are always proud that i look just like u. Still remember once, there was a supplier that say i don't really look like u, u were defending all the time saying i look just like u. I'm always proud that i have an eye as big as u, iris as dark as urs. I'm proud to just look like u, always do..

I love having long hair since when i'm a kid, but i never like to dry my hair each nite, u'll be there to wake me up drying my hair for me while im half asleep. Its a pleasure that i get to dry ur hair for the past few weeks, may i dry ur hair again?

I was always having serious period pain. One night, I went to church for some event, and i was experiencing serious period pain. When i called, U rush here just to bring me back home to have my pain killer and straight go to bed. The helpless look that u put on when im in pain, i just wish to say is ok, ill be fine real fast.

Whenever i experience gastric, u'll always remind me to eat something sweet before having a heavy meal, can u remind me again? When my leg hurts or i have blue black, u'll always rub my leg with 铁 打酒, but i never had the chance to put it on for u.

When i start to learn to drive, u took the time out just to come n see how im driving when im still learning. After i got my license, u taught me how to drive our car, teaching me the road to sunway, bringing me with u to meet the debtors. Whenever, i took the wrong road, ull just laugh at me n say, where u wanna go? there was once, u were teaching me to drive ur van at shah alam stadium, it was so hot so i said i want to eat ice cream, u took me to watch the racing event that is taking place there while eating ice cream with me.

Last year chinese new year, u taught me to play mahjong, as mom never like playing it, u,me n my bro were always playing against each other with jolly beside each of us. We also took the time to play cho dai di. While eating seafood with uncle they all during cny, i can never successfully, knock crack the crab shell, ull always there hitting each of it n giving me all the crab meat. Who should i ask to crack the crab shell for me??

I love ha gao the most, u love siu mai the most, each time we eat dim sum, ull definitely call ha gao for me giving all the portion to me. When u found something real nice to eat, ull definitely bring us to the particular place or da bao for us to eat. Im grateful that i get to go to the place where u always mention the best fish ball was sold with u.

Wherever u go for holiday, u never forget bout us. I love soft toys a lot, but u always say is a waste of money. When u went to china, u took the effort to buy me a panda, never have i thought u will buy me one. seeing the panda, seems like seeing u. u even bought jades that resembles, me, my bro n my mom's year of birth animals.

As days pass by, u got skinnier each day, skin starts to dry up where ill put on moisturizer for u. today u can walk, the next day u cant, n as days pass, u start to not even able to sit up straight but sleeping on the cushion.

Memories of u n me for this past 18 years, its countless. 6.48pm is when ur heart stop, when our screams n tears couldn't reach u, when u leave us forever. The day we sent ur ashes to the big sea, to allow u to travel all around the world like what u have wish for all these year, is the day i promise myself, ill never cry again, ill shoulder up the things that i have to do, live a better life, taking care of my family.

I love u forever, and i know that, no matter how things change, one thing will never change, the thought that YOU are the best father i can ever have in my life. Papa, ill take good care of the family so not to worry. Go travel wherever u are and do spend some time to look at us once a while. i love u forever and ever, and i know, ull be up there watching at us, may u rest in peace. let me shed the last tear for u here...